I shall never turn my back on you,
Or so to speak,
Or perhaps I shall if you promise to soap it under the shower,
I shall never give you the cold shoulder,
Or so to speak,
Or perhaps I shall if you promise to warm it with a hug,
I shall never give you the stiff upper lip,
Or so to speak,
Or perhaps I shall if the French kiss requires it,
I shall never take a load off my chest,
Or so to speak,
Or perhaps I shall if I am replacing the load with your own breasts,
I shall never give you the finger,
Or so to speak,
Or perhaps I shall if it’s the real thing you want,
I shall never give you the boot,
Or so to speak,
Or perhaps I shall if the toes will interlock,
I shall never pull your legs,
Or so to speak,
Or perhaps I shall if you’ll end up in my lap,
I shall never lend you an ear,
Or so to speak,
Or perhaps I shall if you plan to nimble on it,
I shall never take your hand,
Or perhaps I shall if it is for life,
What?
You shall never give me your hand?
Or so to speak,
Or so not to speak!
And you hanged up the telephone.