“You cross yourself quite a bit, which is strange for an agnostic”
“Who said I was an agnostic?”
“Oh… Anyhow, listen to what my car mechanic told me. He said he was
happy with the lack of fuel during the July war because that meant that fuel
was smuggled from Syria. And so, Syrian fuel is really of bad quality which
means that he was over flooded with clients having problems with their
engines.”
“Le malheur des uns fait le bonheur des autres!” (Some people’s sadness
makes the joy of others)
“Are you up for the village this weekend?”
“Well, considering that I go there every week it is not even a question.”
“I would pay dearly to spend two hours with my parents now. They are
both dead and when they were alive I was visiting home just once a year or
something. I should have known. But you remind me of my mother in some
ways.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Well, she too had the art of replying in an oblique way to important things I
say.”
“Such as what?”
“Well, I would be speaking about my dissertation and then she would sud-
denly say: “Oh, it is time for my favorite television show!” and she would
just get up and leave.”
“I can understand that, you only visited once a year you know. Her routine,
she established day after day during your absence. In addition, it all depends
on the television show in question!”
“It was Perry Mason.”
“Then here attitude is understandable. I would have left for Perry Mason
myself.”
“Do you know that show? How come!”
“Well, it was on rerun on Hallmark channel when I had pirated satellite
installed. I don’t have pirated satellite connection anymore, not because I
went legitimate but because came a point where even that bill of 10 USD
a month I could not afford. There was a major fuss with the football World
Cup this year, when the television that paid for the exclusive satellite rights
found itself not knowing how to deal with all these people who simply steal
its broadcast.

Eventually it forced those people to pay 2 million USD for re-broadcasting
rights provided they would not charge their end clients with it. In theory res-
taurants were forbidden to put giant screens and broadcast matches, but then
in practice, this is Lebanon. Did you make sure the hot water switch is off?”
“You keep nagging like an old lady. Did you know that old men die shortly
after their wives because they miss the nagging part. There’s something reas-
suring about nagging.”
“In that case, I will repeat my question: Did you make sure the hot water
switch is off?”